Saturday, July 30, 2011


I think it should be illegal. This morning I was hanging out with mommy and all of a sudden there was a huge boom! I thought there was a natural gas line explosion.. it was..... just not PG&E's fault this time. Mommy said it didn't stink and I'm overreacting, that my poop smells worse. She annoys me.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Denim Cat

I always sleep next to mommy on the bed. The only time i don't is when i'm mad at her, or if she flops around too much in her sleep. Every morning Mommy and I cuddle before she gets up to prepare me
breakfast. As soon as mommy's foot touches the floor I leap off the bed, and beat her to the kitchen. I always win.

Saturday... i thought i'll mess with mommy a bit. Mommy woke up and couldn't find me on the bed. She was too lazy to get out of bed, and to put on her glasses so she just leaned over the bed see if i was there. She thought she saw me laying on the floor next to the bed. She talked to "me" for a while, and even tried to pet "me" but "i" was just right out of reach. It was unusual for me to be silent, and not go to her when called that she started to worry. She got out of bed, and reached over to shake me and realized then that "I" was just a pair of jeans she left on the floor the night before. dummy. Mommy put on her glasses and walked around the house looking for me. When she came back to bed, there I was on the headboard and i told her "meoow" (translation: 4 eyed dummy), then jumped down and beat her to the kitchen.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Hells Kitchen

I'm in trouble again. In fact I'm currently locked in the bathroom serving a 10 minute timeout.

Mommy just cooked some spicy teriyaki chicken to take to work for lunch. Since it was super hot she packed them in Tupperware and left the lid off to cool. I know I'm not allowed on the kitchen counter, but I really didn't think I would get caught. Mommy was busy watching Hells Kitchen on Hulu.

I was next to mommy at the beginning and made sure she knew I was there in case I needed an alibi. But during one of the short commercial breaks she looked around for me, and found me with the largest piece of chicken on the kitchen floor. I thought I would get away with it. I was super quiet, and I made sure the Tupperware looked untouched. But the chicken was too hot to eat so I couldn't gobble it all up. Aarrgghh. I didn't get a single bite in before it was snatched away from me. Mommy put the one I dropped in a ziploc bag. I thought she was saving it for me since she left it on the counter. So when she went away I jumped on the counter again. I think it may have been a trap since here came mommy running over again. This time I got snatched up and thrown in the bathroom. I hope my non stop meowing is making mommy feel guilty.

Monday, July 18, 2011

I'm feeling better!

Mommy was feeling horrible when she found out I had tapeworm since she thought it made her a bad mom. So she was relieved to hear from many of you that it’s pretty common.  The good news is that we think the worm moved out the same day we applied the medicine. I am feeling so much better, and I have a bigger appetite now. Mommy thinks this is funny since I’m no longer eating for two (or more).  Mommy on the other hand has not completely recovered. She is still traumatized by the tapeworm. During the week or so she was finding the little sesame seeds around the house, she was trying to figure out what it was. She played with them, squished them, rolled them between her fingers to try to figure out what it was.  She even rehydrated them to see if it’ll sprout a leaf. Basically she was touching them with her bare hands.  She is now constantly washing her hands with soapy hot water that they are starting to feel a bit dry. If you want to see what these faux sesame seeds look like rehydrated, click here.

Some of you might be wondering if I have forgiven mommy for giving me a bath. I have.  Don’t think I didn’t put up a fight. I left a deep scratch on mommy’s boob during the bath. I was aiming for a “Z” for Zorro...i mean Zero, but I didn’t get a chance to finish.  Saturday morning, I tried to choke mommy in her sleep.  I pawed at her throat, until she was gasping for air. I think we’re even now.

Speaking of Saturday, I thought mommy was going to take me to the vet since i got shoved into the kitty backpack. Mommy told me that if I didn’t stop struggling, we’ll both die. She’s such a drama queen.  Turns out the fire alarm went off for the building. I’m so used to mommy’s alarm clock going off for an hour that it didn’t bother me. Getting shoved into a bag however did.  We went outside, and went around the building to make sure there wasn’t a fire. Turns out someone on the 3rd floor set off the fire alarm when they burned their popcorn in the microwave. Noob. 

Friday, July 15, 2011

I don't deserve this

Today sucked!!! Aunt Sannie came to visit tonight and they both ganged up on me! Mommy started cleaning my butt which had a bunch of the tapeworm chunks stuck to it. I usually clean it off before mommy looks but the quantity had gotten out of control I cant keep up. And while mommy was wiping it white stuff oozed out and mommy flung me off and screamed. Aunt Sannie has never heard mommy scream like that ever before. Mommy thinks the worm started to come out and went back in. Anyways they trapped me in the bathroom and poked and prodded me some more. I made the bathroom all stinky with my anal phlegm juice so they gave me a bath. This is the worst day of my life.

After I finally licked myself dry, they came after me again. They put some yucky stuff that felt like frontline on my neck. Is this whole flea induced nightmare ever going to end?

Thursday, July 14, 2011


Soon after the fleas moved in, mommy started finding these tiny brown seed like things everywhere. She found a pile on my side of the bed. Last night she found some fresh ones on my butt when she was flea combing me and freaked out again. She did online research and she's pretty sure I have tapeworms. An article said that fleas can infect cats with tapeworm and these segments that she's been finding are a delicacy to them. Gross. She sent a photo to my vet and is on the phone with them this morning to see if i need to go in. This whole flea thing sucks! :(

Update: confirmed. I have tapeworms.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

No spiders on the menu please

So it turns out spiders are not as yummy as flies. A couple days ago, as mommy was getting ready to shower, she noticed me staring at something, and came over to take a look. She is so nosey...sheesh. Anyways, it was a big juicy spider. i played with it a bit, but it was distracting since mommy was staring at me with some toilet paper saying "eat it eat it eat it". To shut her up, i finally reached over and sampled it. I didn't like how it felt on my tongue so i decided to play with it some more. Then it started running towards mommy. She squeaked. That was funny. I decided to just lay down and enjoy the show. But the show ended quickly when mommy flushed Mr. Spider down the toliet. Murderer.

Here's a video of me after I tried the spider. You can see me trying to get the spider yuck off my tongue.

YouTube Video

Oh btw, i may have eaten a flea the other day. Mommy saw a flea stuck to my tongue when i was yawning. She couldn't believe what she saw so she stared at me until i yawned again, and there he was still hanging onto a taste bud for dear life. Mommy tried to make me drink water to wash it down, but i refused to drink. Instead i decided to lick myself to give the flea a chance to flee (hee hee i'm so funny), so he can bite mommy later.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Flower Toy

First of all thank you for the flea advice. Mommy thought that maybe there was only one flea here...the one she caught but she went to petsmart just in case to get me frontline. I think she should've gotten frontline for herself. So far she's the only one they're interested in. She has 18 bites. Sucks to be her. Turns out there was another flea that tried to eat mommy tonight so she caught him too. Mommy's keeping them in a water bottle to show other fleas in the neighborhood a glance of their fate if they choose to stick around.

Obviously my thank you to you was not for frontline cuz that's yuck... But for getting mommy to petsmart! She found new yummy food! This is what I got for dinner tonight. Super yumminess!

She also found a whole bunch of toys for me. Including this flower. She said it was on clearance. No wonder it breaks easily...

YouTube Video

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Flea Advice Please

Mommy has fleas. She's been looking for them for a few days now and have only found and murdered one. She's freaking out.
Mommy attracts Mosquitos and fleas wherever she goes.9 months ago, before I moved in mommy had a flea problem. They follow her home. Daddy tried to flea bomb her condo then and even turned off the fire alarm as directed. But when the bombs went off so did the main alarm for her complex! Daddy had to run in to open up all the windows and almost poisoned himself in the process!
Does anyone know of any effective and safe methods of getting rid of fleas? Mommys been trying to use herself as bait but she gets bored sitting still. She's worried that the fleas might multiply and get tired of eating her and move on to me. I'm scared...please help.

Help! mommy's huge veiny legs are squishing me!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy 4th!

Me: Mommy i found a flag for you!
Mommy: Zero I don't think you're allowed to step on the american flag...

Me: I'm not stepping on it...I'm touching it. 
Mommy: Okay 

Me: Look ma, my head's touching the flag... do you have a problem with that too?
Mommy: No

Me: Boring....Good night. 

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Fur Balls

Mommy always complains about my fur balls getting everywhere. Why doesn't she complain about Hidaka's? Mine is microscopic compared to his. (this is after just one brushing!)

Mini Barf

Mommy was super proud of me when she got home cuz she found a mini pukie in front of the litter box. She thought I tried to make it to the litter box so that cleanup will be easier for her.... Then she had the nerve to ask me if I really gagged cuz my poop was stinky. I don't think it's any of her business. I hope she cleans it up quickly cuz it's blocking the entrance. Yuck.